Day 10: Thanks for the Memories

I'm often reminded of my former life. The one where I was 'living the dream' as a beach bum, yogi, wine swilling Caribbean housewife. Those days are temporarily over, and I've spent the last six months in an extended mourning period. I think its only natural I miss Grenada. It's the island were we got married, had a baby, lost a scooter, lost car tires, gained lifelong friends, learned to lime, failed to wine and had at least 17 mechanics in our employ to keep the world's most expensive piece of tin running.

While we were living the dream, we along with countless other families, were fortunate enough to have Ashley Willis document our dream. Today I'm thankful for Ashley's amazing talent and her ability to capture some of the sweetest memories in a snapshot. Ashley photographed me eight months pregnant and made me look glam. Now that is sheer genius at work to be able to do that!

She photographed our new family and was somehow able to capture the sweet first months of parenthood in a single shot. Her talent, beauty and positive attitude amaze and inspire me. In addition to being just about the most fantastic photographer out there, she is a fantastic writer and her blog makes me laugh and occasionally makes me cry. Everyone should read this entry about her desire for a bambino of her own.

I'm thankful for Ashley. Her talent, honesty, candor and beauty are inspirational. I'm not sure why her bundle of joy is taking so long to get to here, but perhaps for the moment she's being used as an inspiration to many, and when her one, two, three or four do arrive they'll be able to see just how special she is.



I'm thankful for the beautiful memories that hang on my wall as a constant reminder of our island life, and I'm thankful for sweet souls like, Ashley, who share their talent and their struggles.

Day 9

Looks like I'm officially on track for this month of thankfulness. I'm thankful for the last several months that I've been able to work from home and not have to leave this sweet face....

I worked for Skaddadle Media out of California and a nicer bunch of folks you could not find.

Here's the project I worked on. This makes me thankful for companies like Windstream who inspire our kids to get out and do amazing things in their community. If you can vote for one of these schools to win $25,000.


http://schoolswin.windstream.com/finalists

Thanks Windstream and Skedaddle for allowing me to stay home and enjoy almost 11 months with my sweet girl. These moments are priceless.

Gratitude x 8

It's November and I haven't written in months. No real reason, I've been busy, I've been lazy, I've got nothing to say the list goes on and on....

I've noticed that people are posting things they are grateful for throughout the month of November. As usual I'm behind the eight ball. We are eight days into this exercise and I am eight days behind. So here goes...Here are my eight blessings.

1) Guilty of eavesdropping, I listened to my husband reading bedtime stories to our daughter. It made me smile, and made me laugh that one book turned into eight. It also made me think that some of the best memories of my life will be ones she will never remember, but I'll never forget the sweet sounds of daddy and daughter bed time stories.

Dad and Charlie sharing a giggle

2) Visitors. We've been blessed with many, and throughout the somewhat difficult transition from Grenada to Athens they've often been my salvation. Giving me something to look forward to, weekends filled with belly laughter and a reminder to be thankful for the people in our life that make it infinitely better!


3) Clyde and Jack. Our first visitors . A visit which included a few days of bad behavior and reminiscing about the good ole days in Grenada. A southerner with a slow melodic voice, he reminded me of home in Grenada, and now that we're back 'home' a visit from him reminds me of the things we loved. Lazy island days, too many caribs and a little mischief...

Jack and Charlie seem to both be wondering where is the sea?

4) Serena and Andy. Two of the most generous and sweet people you'll ever meet. They housed us in Grenada and Serena, always kept us hydrated. We're grateful they took time off the island to come and play for awhile in our new hood.

Couldn't find any photos of their visit must be on John' computer, but love this one of Andy and Charlie.

5) James and Kathryn. My brother and soon - to - be - sister - in - law. They got us back into the tradition of SEC football. We tailgated and cheered for the dawgs and spending time with them made me grateful Kathryn Harris will soon be Kathryn Harris Harris!

The Dawg Walk a UGA tradition

6) Devin and Christine. Two of my all time favorite people even if they are Canadian. :) They are interesting, funny, lovely, generous, sweet, well traveled and well...sizzled. We laughed and ate then ate some more. Devin may be one of the best cooks on the planet and it's a pleasure to eat his food. In Grenada we had a Sunday date most Sundays, and the weekend they spent with us reminded me of those happy times. I miss them, but know our paths will cross again soon and I can't wait to see where it does...

A vineyard in North Georgia...who knew...wine was crap...company fantastic

7) Shannon, Justin and Colin. Shannon and Justin will and go go anywhere and everywhere. They came to see me in Zambia, traveled to Grenada to be part of our wedding when Shan was 7 months pregnant. They are constants in our lives and give me the strength to embark on new adventures, because I know wherever we go there they will be. They inspire me, make me laugh and I love them and their sweet growing family. There will be another little Offen in December and this baby is fortunate to have some of the coolest parents and the best big brother you could ask for.

8) Caleb + Dad and family. Recently we celebrated my brother Caleb's 30th and my Dad's 57th! It was a great weekend and our home was filled with laughter, children and former UGA football players who made our tiny house seem well, minuscule. I have to include a shout out to MC. Who is a fantastic aunt and baby sitter!

Harris/Clark girls

These are my eight. A sweet husband and daughter who spend time together. Several sets of friends and family who have brightened our lives these last few months. The list goes on and on and I'll keep updating it this month but THANK YOU to these individuals for your love and support and for making me laugh til my belly hurts.

 

Beauty Lessons

I've taken a break from my blog, mainly because after a move from paradise and a visit to one of my favorite places on earth (the Luangwa Valley) I've been sweating it out in hot Georgia with no ocean or Highland Fling II and have been a little miserable and very mental. So in an effort to keep from getting myself committed I've kept mum. I'm happy to say I'm starting to come out of my funk and be a grown up and deal with it.

About a week ago, in very grown up fashion I ran home to momma in Virginia. I realized two things: mom's do make things better and Sunday's without Highland Fling II do kind of suck.

So what do miserable/mental women do to make themselves feel better. Well, pedicures of course. It's amazing what you learn in the pedicure chair. Usually I learn about important things like the Kardashians. However take a baby with you and you'll learn all sorts of interesting things. Beyond the general parenting advice that everyone loves to dish out I did hear a "new" old wives tale. Apparently if your baby has one fat role on his or her legs your next baby will be a boy. If they have two fat rolls then your next baby will be a girl. More than two is anybody's guess...Now I wonder if this gender game applies to mom's thighs as well?

Confession

I'm not catholic so I don't go to confession...I'm a lapsed baptist, but really not much of anything these days which is becoming very uncomfortable in the Bible Belt as I've been asked about our 'church family' by everyone and I mean everyone. I had a 5 minute uncomfortable conversion experience when I tried to buy a night stand off craig's list. Somehow explaining the 'Church of Highland Fling II' might not go over so well in these parts...but I digress. I'm not catholic or religious but I've got a few things to fess up to or get off my chest.

We've been back in the States over a month now and I can't seem to settle in. I love my country but not sure I like living in it.

I hate K-mart I think it's run by rednecks and organized by the president of the trailer park association. It's disorganized and dusty (actually sounds a little like my house) and I can never find anything. I should love it for the people watching opportunities alone, but I hate it and I make no apologies.

I do however love Wal-mart as it has the same clientele but a tad bit smarter employee. I must look like a K-mart shopper though as yesterday when asking a Wal-mart employee where the face wash aisle was located she said , "cosmetics" and I said "thanks, where would that be" and she very slowly and deliberately said "that means make-up" and shook her head as if to say "go back to K-mart you ignoramus."

Other things I don't like about the South or the US in general are snotty stores. Today I had a job interview of sorts...which means I convinced the head of a department to meet with me, but she actually has no job to offer me. So, when this fake interview was lined up I scrambled to find a sitter. The fake interview then was switched to a new day but having asked the sitter to reorganize her entire schedule I figured I better not cancel.I used my two baby free hours to run a few errands and then wandered into one of those stores where everything is monogrammed. I'm southern. I like monogrammed things. I have a cheese platter a necklace and several bags with monograms so I've been into a few of these stores in my time, but I forgot what I dislike about them is the sales lady with the insincere perma smile and pearl earrings and the name dropping, social climbing clientele that these places attract. After my frosty greeting by pearl earrings I heard no less than seven times that  the lily pulitzer clad woman was there to pick up invitations for so and so, head of the junior league... and then I heard all about her fabulous condo in gulf shores. I couldn't help myself I just couldn't...I may have let it slip that we just moved back from the Caribbean and it was so hard to leave our "waterfront property..." While waterfront is not a stretch, the cement hot box with the gorgeous view that we lived in; I have to confess is not what I portrayed. Why I felt the need to compete with this woman I have no idea. I think maybe just because I found her so over the top annoying, but I should have just given her a steups (a brilliant Caribbean sucking sound that means piss off) and moved on.

Two of the Seventeen we saw

While I am confessing I also had no intention of buying monogrammed stationary for Charlie. With no job paying the sitter was going to be tight so the reason I didn't buy the overpriced stationary was not because "you don't have anything with giraffe's? she's loved giraffe's since she saw 17 on safari. " It is more because we have about 17 dollars in the checking account...

Speaking of jobs I am searching for one and I forgot how much I hate job searching. It's made worse by the fact I don't actually want one. Well I do, I want the money and I want something to do in addition to singing itsy bitsy spider several times a day but the thought of leaving my daughter causes me to break into a cold sweat and hot tears.

Last confession of the day is when visiting the anxiety inducing childcare facility last Friday I may have had a tiny hangover due to too many margaritas the night before.


Since I'm not Catholic there should be no penance. However, I've done mine. Watching a seven month old with a hangover was it.

Recycled

I posted this a while back but John made me take it down as he thought we might get kicked out of the country...now we are gone I'll post it again because my goal is to post more, however I am too lazy to come up with something new tonight. Maybe I should see if there are any openings in the immigration department...


Last week I had the pleasure of packing up Charlie and trekking up to the Botanical Gardens, which is a bit of a misnomer as its actually a badly planned concrete maze of hideously ugly government buildings without a flower in site. It is also the home of the always hospitable immigration officials. I have been dreading this trip since we landed on the island and the blank faced,money hungry immigration official at the airport granted Charlie and me a three month visa instead of the five month visa they gave John.

Last week our three months were up and it was time to pay the head blank faced official a visit. I can't really describe how nasty these people can be. They don't speak they really just bark in some sort of pigeon English, they won't look you in the eye, likely because they are on some level embarrassed by the abuse of their limited power, and they hide behind a beaten up metal door bearing a sign that says 'knock and wait." What the sign should really say is "don't bother knocking because we only open the door when we feel like it." On second thought it should just say "WAIT, we will open the door only after you've been sitting there clueless for hours and we've had our tea and made several long distance phone calls to the USA where our relatives are living illegally.  We will be prepared to harass, interrogate and abuse you only after your blood pressure has reached the boiling point and you are forced to speak in grunts through gritted teeth less you unleash your pent up aggression on us and we then will deny you an extension of your visa."

I was not looking forward to this experience and really could not bear the thought of doing it with a baby. I walked into to depressing govt. building A and saw the typical confusion. Bored and broken looking yachtys, students and peace corps workers were lounged all over the place. There was no line and the woman behind the glass counter was ignoring everyone. I filled out my forms and knocked on the scary door and a blank faced minion answered the door and, then the unthinkable happened. I thought to myself "is there a trace of a smile on this blank faced androids lips? Oh my goodness I think there is." I look at my daughter who is staring intently at probably the first emotionless human she has ever encountered.

Before I knew it we were whisked back to the woman in charge and this nasty, bitter, power hungry woman engaged in the most shocking piece of behavior I have ever encountered in an immigration office and started cooing at my daughter. I swear to you I almost dropped Charlie from the shock of some emotion coming from an immigration officer.

Now was the moment of truth. Would Charlie take after dad who has a long history of abusing public "servants." There was an incident at the Zambian border a few years back which involved threats of "languishing in the cell." Or, would she take after her mother who is so petrified of these people I bribed them with tubes of Colgate and bottles of red wine during my stint in Zambia. Inwardly I am thinking please smile at this woman whatever you do do not give her your 1,000 yard stare. She is extending the olive branch. Please, please smile.

And my girl is her momma's girl. Big grins prevailed. The next thing I knew we were being stamped , approved and I was looking at pictures of this woman's children. Who lived, you got it, in the USA.

So after four years living abroad, countless tubes of Colgate dispensed and a layer of enamel missing from my gritted teeth, I have figured out the formula for cracking the toughest of immigration officials. A baby. Charlie and I set a new record. The whole process took 37 minutes.

Goals

We are starting the long and daunting process of packing up our lives and preparing to move to the next phase. I'm not going to expound on my feelings about leaving. Will save that for another post but, to borrow a uniquely British expression. I am "gutted" to be leaving.

So back to the packing. It, to use a uniquely American expression "sucks." Enough said.

While packing we came across a list of goals that we made during our first week of marriage. I think the plan was to make goals every 6 months and have a sort of  "state of our union" meeting and check in with each other. Like most things that are started with the best of intentions; that first state of the union goal session was our last. But what was surprising was that most of the major goals we had set for ourselves have been or are on their way to being accomplished.  Some of course were not...and some we are a bit ahead of. Start family summer of 2011 can be crossed off! Some things on that list are funny...kind of what were we thinking when we wanted to do that, and some need extended deadlines and a few goals are lifelong works in progress.

Next goal. Stop procrastinating, get packed so we can move ourselves to the US via Malawi without losing our minds. "Please God." As they say in Grenada.