I am learning a lot in my stint as a stay-at-home-mom. This week I learned my new favorite term. Pageant Crack. Pageant Crack is in reality a pixi stick, which mom's on the pageant circuit give to their kids to enhance their performance. I find this A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! What I find even more A-M-A-Z-I-N-G is that for some kids the pageant crack doesn't work, so one mom has resorted to "go-go juice." It's actually a toss up which new word I like better. Pageant Crack or Go-Go juice. Both are pretty unbelievable. Go-Go juice is a unique concoction of Red Bull and Mountain Dew that you give to six year-olds, so they can keep their energy up to win child pageants. It's apparently perfectly safe and the inventor gave it a hearty endorsement, "There are far worse things. I could be giving her alcohol."
The same day I learned about the One Million Mom group who decided to attack Ellen because she's a lesbian and therefore is unfit to be JC Penny's spokesperson. Now, I have nothing personal against the Kardashians. I find them mildly entertaining, but I wonder why these million mom's took up a campaign against Ellen, who in addition to be a lesbian seems to be a pretty decent person. She is in a committed relationship, she works hard, she has talent, she uses her show to help others, she like animals and she dances. All in all I think she's a pretty stand-up human. In contrast the Kardashians are un-wed mothers, make a mockery of marriage, have no real talent other than their amazing ability to make whining, simpering and fighting entertaining to millions of bored teens and housewives. Why are they not boycotting Sears, who is home the Kardashians clothing line? If we are buying clothes and dryers based on morals, then I have to say, I gotta give the moral high ground to Ellen and JC Penny.
Just my opinion, but if I had to pick. I would rather raise an Ellen than a Kim.
Now, I have a job for these One Million Moms. Why don't you do us all a favor and stop this mom?Pediatricians and physicians who treat Type II diabetes will thank you.